A Christmas Story (But Not That Christmas Story)

December 20, 2012

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     With Christmas quickly approaching, the Garner family was preparing for their annual trip to Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s for the family holiday celebration. The trip was something of a highlight when the kids were younger, but now that they were older with lives of their own, the trip had lost a lot of its luster.
     “I don’t want to go. At all,” said Stephanie, the youngest (and loudest) member or the Garner family. “I hate it there. It’s not fun. It’s just a bunch of old people playing cards and talking about that one Christmas when Uncle Walter backed the station wagon into the garage and the reindeer came flying off of the roof. Well guess what? I’ve heard that story. It’s a lousy story, and I don’t care about fat old Uncle Walter’s driving record.”
     “Stephanie, we all know how you feel about this. You’ve been yelling about it all week,” Hank Garner said, impatient with his daughter whom he found pretty annoying – probably more annoying than a father should find his own daughter.
     “Dad, you don’t even like going. You always say that your favorite part about the trip to Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s is the ride back home. I don’t know why we still have to go to this,” Stephanie shouted from an adjacent room.
     Nancy Garner shook her head as she scraped the remnants of that morning’s breakfast off of a skillet that had seen better years and happier Christmases. She liked these trips with the family, and even now that things had changed, she still saw it as an opportunity to enjoy her children, her husband, and the life they’ve made for themselves. She didn’t even mind the long, ear shattering ride with Stephanie, who had never quite mastered the art of the inside voice. Nancy was the kind of person who always had the Christmas spirit about her. It was her favorite holiday, her favorite time of year, and the source of her most cherished memories. Even in the hot, sundried months of summer, the whistling tune of “White Christmas” was never far from her lips.
     “Oh Stephanie, calm down. You’ll have a nice time. Anyway, what makes you think we’re excited that you’re coming? Honey, we love you, but you’re just so loud,” Nancy said, as lovingly as possible.
     “Whatever!” said Stephanie too loudly.

     As the Garners rode along in their car (Stephanie and older brother Rob in the back seat and Hank and Nancy in the front), they were slowly becoming less despondent about the trip. At one point they even started singing Christmas carols. That is, until Stephanie chimed in and ruined it for everybody. See, she does that. The trip to Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s took about four hours, and when the Garners arrived, they were more than ready to kick back and enjoy the spoils of the season – Aunt Carol’s cookies, Cousin Sherwood’s gingerbread houses, and Uncle Dom’s train set (that nobody was allowed to touch). It was actually shaping out to be a nice day. This was the first Christmas in a long time that Stephanie and Rob got along with each other. Hank even played backgammon with Uncle Rufus who, as everyone knows, is ridiculously good at backgammon. Yep, things were really looking good for the Garner Christmas. Until the night came, and it was time for bed.

Just three months earlier, Nancy received a phone call from Aunt Carol that went something like this:

Nancy: Hello?
Aunt Carol: Nancy! Listen, I’m glad I caught you.
Nancy: Well I’m fine, Aunt Carol. Thanks for asking.
Aunt Carol: Yeah. Guess what?
Nancy: What? Look, Aunt Carol, I’m really busy. Is this imp-
Aunt Carol: We finally got new mattresses for the guest rooms!
Nancy: Well…great! Congratulations. That’s fantastic.
Aunt Carol: Yep! You see, Hank called us a few weeks ago and said that he wasn’t sure if your family would be coming for Christmas this year, what with your back and all.
Nancy: My back?
Aunt Carol: Yeah, your bad back. Hank said he felt just terrible telling us, but that you were in quite a bit of pain. Anyway, you don’t need to worry. We got NEW mattresses. In all of the guest rooms!
Nancy: Oh, Aunt Carol you shouldn’t have. You didn’t need to spend all that mo-
Aunt Carol: Nonsense! It just wouldn’t be Christmas without you. And anyway, I got a great price at the discount mattress outlet. You won’t believe the deal I got!
Nancy: That must have cost you hundreds!
Aunt Carol: We got a great deal! I’ve never heard of the brand, but the salesman said it was a great deal!
Nancy: Well, fantastic! Look, I’ve got to run. Thanks for the call, and we’ll see you at Christma-
Aunt Carol: Oh hey, while we’re on the subject of Christmas, do you think Stephanie would mind sleeping in the basement? It’s just that she’s so-
Nancy: That would be great.

     So, anyway, the Garner family was looking forward to getting some much needed sleep on Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s new mattresses. But that didn’t happen, and the next morning, the scene was radically different from the previous day.
     ”My back hurts!” yelled Stephanie, first thing in the morning like anybody wanted to hear that. “Mom! I thought they got new mattresses! I tossed and turned all night! And it smelled, Mom! It smelled like wood chips and worcestershire sauce!”
     ”We slept pretty bad too. Hank, get up. Look, I didn’t have a back problem before, but now I think I do.” Nancy said, more than a little annoyed.
     ”My neck! Ow! Owwww! My neck!” said Rob, probably exaggerating a little bit because he always did that.
     ”That’s it! We’re leaving! I can’t handle another night like this!” said Hank, annoyed and uncomfortable, but also a little grateful for an excuse to leave.

     And so, abruptly and without notice, the Garners left and went home to celebrate Christmas somewhere they could get a decent night of sleep. Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom were pretty offended and upset, but I guess that’s what you get when you buy a no name mattress from an untrusted discount store. If they would have shopped at US-Mattress.com, they would have gotten a great deal on a mattress made by a trusted and known manufacturer. They would have provided a comfortable and supportive place for their guests to sleep.

But hey, this doesn’t have to happen to you! Next time you’re shopping for guest mattresses, invest in an affordable mattress from a reputable manufacturer rather than settling on something just because it’s cheap. You (and more importantly, your guests) will be glad that you did!

And from all of us at US-Mattress.com, we wish you and your families a very happy and healthy holiday season!

Merry Christmas!

The Snooze Guru


Serta Perfect Day

September 4, 2012

Dear Snooze Guru,

I read a recent post of yours about Serta mattresses, and I am interested in purchasing one for myself. Hey, why not, right? I mean, they ARE the #1 mattress manufacturer in the country. Can you give me more information on the Serta Perfect Day series? I want to make sure I make the right purchase!

-Tom from Danville, IL

Dear Tom,

You’re making an excellent choice with a Perfect Day mattress. Serta’s premium mattress selection features the new revolutionary iSeries technology, combining the finest comfort innovation with their most advanced coil support system.

iSeries Technology

The perfect combination of support and comfort, Serta Perfect Day iSeries mattresses combine Cool Action Gel Memory Foam with their advanced Duet Coil system, an individually wrapped Coil-in-Coil Support System designed to contour to every curve in your body while providing deep down support. Perfect Day iSeries mattresses sleep cooler than other models, provide better back support, and transfer less motion between partners. Sleep on a Perfect Day and you’ll wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle whatever comes your way. It’s no wonder Serta stands as America’s #1 mattress manufacturer. Their commitment to quality and innovation sets them apart from the competition. When you buy a Serta Perfect Day mattress, you’re not just improving your quality of sleep. You’re improving your quality of life.

Shop for your Serta Perfect Day mattress at US-Mattress.com and enjoy free shipping on your order. And with a 100-day comfort guarantee, you won’t have to worry about being stuck with a mattress that isn’t right for you. Find yours today!

Sleep Well,

The Snooze Guru


Luxury Fibers

July 10, 2012

Dear Snooze Guru,

My children tell me that I am an old man. Like I don’t know this. Heck, when I was a kid, an iPad was something you tied around your eyes to protect them from gigantic bully fists. Of course, you couldn’t see them coming. But my kids seem to think I’m oblivious to these times. They laugh when they say things to me like, “Hey Dad, did you set up your hoozie whatsi on the iFace Nookpod Droid?” And apparently I’m the crazy one. Last night, my son called me about a sale at a furniture store. He said, “Dad you’ve been sleeping on that same mattress since the NIXON administration!” Then he starts talking to me about all sorts of mattress mumbo jumbo. Support, comfort, luxury. Luxury? When I was a kid, sleeping comfortably and luxuriously meant climbing on top of Uncle Harold’s stomach after he dozed off on the couch. Of course, you couldn’t be afraid of heights.

Anyway, Guru, what’s all this about luxury mattress fibers? Please, educate me so I can keep the laughs at bay.

Glen from Norfolk, VA


Dear Glen,

I’d be glad to clear this up for you! Sure, when you hear the words luxury-mattress-fibers, you might feel like you’re subject to just another gimmick to get you to spend more money on a mattress. While these luxury materials do make for a more expensive sleep set, you’ll often find that they create a healthier and safer sleep experience that you’ll appreciate year after year.

You hear a lot about the inside of a mattress when you’re shopping for a sleep set. You pay attention to coil count and gauge. You learn about comfort materials within. But do you consider the outer shell of the mattress? Luxury mattress fibers like alpaca, a very soft hypoallergenic and fire-resistant thread, offer additional benefits to the sleep experience. Cashmere is a popular material in the ticking (outer shell) of a mattress because it gives a soft, cushioning feeling while helping to regulate moisture and body temperature. Outlast® and Coolmax® are other luxury fibers that help wick away moisture, control temperature, and resist fire.

If you’re shopping for a mattress that you want to stick with for a long time, then pay close attention to what kinds of luxury fibers comprise the mattress ticking. You deserve the best sleep, so find the luxury mattress fibers that will help you get it.

Sleep Well,

Snooze Guru


Why Buy Online?

June 28, 2012

Dear Snooze Guru,

I have been a faithful reader of your blog for at LEAST three weeks. I love all of your tips about bedding and sleep stuff. But, if I can be completely honest with you – like, if I can be totally candid – I’m not sure you’ve sold me on buying a mattress online. I mean, isn’t it kind of risky? How can I REALLY be sure everything will work out and I’ll be happy with my purchase? I’m nervous about buying a mattress online. Snooze Guru, what should I do?

-Diane from Utah

Diane’s concerns aren’t uncommon. When you make a big purchase (and a mattress is certainly a big purchase), you want to confidently make the right decision. Unfortunately, since scamming and fraud are so common today, the thought of making a big purchase online can be a little scary. Certainly a number of things could go badly, but if you buy from a trusted internet retailer, then you should feel confident that your purchase will be a safe and secure experience.

Shopping Comfortably

In her letter, Diane mentioned purchase satisfaction as a reason for her apprehension. Some people feel insecure purchasing a mattress that they haven’t physically tested. US-Mattress makes it easy for you to make the right choice. The 10-point Comfort Scale allows you to discern your level of comfort to narrow your search. Also, the printable Shoppers Guide allows you to go to brick and mortar stores to gather information from other mattresses and then compare them to those on the site. It’s a great option for those who don’t like to purchase anything sight unseen. Also, to give you even more confidence to shop online, US-Mattress guarantees your comfort. If you’re not satisfied with your mattress after 100 days, you can exchange it for another one.

Additionally, US-Mattress has a friendly and knowledgeable staff of mattress experts and customer service representatives who are glad to help in any way they can. Give them a call at any time during the shopping process, and they’ll use every resource they have to answer your questions. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather shop that way rather than with some coffee-breathed guy in a cheap suit walking me down the mattress aisle trying to point me toward the most expensive model.

With a number of resources to make your shopping experience easier, and over three months to decide if you find the mattress comfortable, US-Mattress takes the uncertainty out of shopping online. While purchasing big ticket items online can be unnerving, you can feel secure knowing that US-Mattress will help you get exactly what you want.

Oh, and I forgot to mention that US-Mattress offers free delivery on every order. So, at the very least, you won’t have to look like this guy while you try to move your mattress. Or five of your mattresses.


Crib, Futon, Bunk, and Trundle Mattresses: Your Questions Answered

June 14, 2012

As I’m sure you all can imagine, it isn’t always easy to be a guru. Well, first there’s the fans. And that’s not always easy (although I would be nowhere without my fans. You two are the best, and I mean it). But another difficult part about being a guru, namely the Snooze Guru, is that my inbox gets flooded each day by readers asking for answers to their bedding and mattress questions. Sometimes personal questions too (to Keith from Oklahoma – I would go with the blue one. But that’s just me. And as for the other thing, we’ve all been there). So today, I’d like to address a few questions that frequently come across my desk.

Crib Mattresses


Dear Snooze Guru,

My husband and I are expecting our first child. As you can imagine, we’re both excited and scared. We want to keep her as safe and healthy as possible. What should we know as we shop for a crib mattress?

-Beth from Orland, IN

Dear Beth,

Congratulations! What an exciting time. Your question isn’t an uncommon one from new or expecting parents. First, before you buy the mattress, make sure it will fit the crib you have (or will buy). Crib mattresses generally measure about 27″ x 52″, but since variations occur between models and manufacturers, it’s always important to measure. As far as comfort goes, your baby is not going to be very picky. However, a firmer mattress is better than a softer one. Babies need a solid sleep surface since they can’t move around from position to position like we can. Make sure the mattress you purchase is supportive enough to cradle your baby’s body in a healthy position while she sleeps.

Futon Mattresses

Dear Snooze Guru,

I recently graduated from college, and I’m moving into a new apartment. I spent most of my college nights on my trusted futon. I have a new bed that I love, but I’d still like to keep the futon to use for guest sleep space. It’s pretty worn out, but the base is still solid. I just need to get a new futon mattress and cover. Any tips?

-Brad from Phillipsburg, NJ

Congratulations, Brad! What an accomplishment. You’re making a smart decision by keeping that futon. I’m not surprised you’re a college graduate. So many young bucks torture their futons for four years, and after graduation they end up on the curb (the futons, that is. But I guess the graduates sometimes end up on the curb too). In most cases (such as yours) the futon only needs a new cover and mattress, an inexpensive solution that will give you continued added sleep space wherever you go. So kudos, Brad, on your sharp thinking. As for your futon revival, your options are fairly limited as far as mattresses go. That is, comfort levels aren’t as specific as with other mattresses. But since it’s just going to be added sleep space, I wouldn’t worry about comfort too much. As long as it doesn’t break any backs, right? US-Mattress carries futon mattresses that are durable and will give your guest a comfortable night of sleep. We also have a whole bunch of covers, so peek around and see what you like. And good luck with your new apartment!

Bunk and Trundle Bed Mattresses

Dear Snooze Guru,

Can you PLEASE help me with this? What is the right mattress size for bunk and trundle beds? I know I need a twin mattress, but what’s the right height? I’ve heard a few different measurements, but can you give me a definitive answer?

Nancy from Providence, RI

Nancy! Yes, I can help. I hate to think about someone as nice as yourself getting fed wrong information. And in Rhode Island, nonetheless! I have some fond memories of Rhode Island. I once won a dance off at a bar named Rhonny’s Rhodies. It was against a one-armed acrobat named Candice. Maybe you know her. Rhode Island is small. Anyway, to answer your question, the best height for a trundle bed mattress is 8″ or under. Some trundle beds will work with a mattress as tall as 10″, but those are uncommon. Stick with 8″ and under for a trundle bed, and you’ll be in good shape. As for bunk beds, you have a little more wiggle room. 8″ is also considered standard for bunk beds, but since you’re not going to tuck it away like you would a trundle bed, you can go a little bit higher. You don’t want the mattress too high, however, because it could exceed the height of the guard rails on the top bunk and result in an unsafe bed. In both cases, if you want to be the safest, go with a twin mattress that measures 8″ tall.

Well there you go. Hopefully this helped answer some of your questions. Did you know you can find out a bunch of information on US-Mattress.com. Look around, and if you have any questions, friendly customer service representatives and mattress experts love to help in any way they can. And keep checking in with me, the Snooze Guru (who could forget), every Tuesday and Thursday for the latest information in furniture and bedding.

Yours in Cozy Comfort,

The Snooze Guru


Stearns & Foster

June 7, 2012

In a continuing effort to familiarize you with the top brands sold at US-Mattress, I’d like to share some information about Stearns & Foster. As America’s premiere bedding brand, they have manufactured the most luxurious and lasting mattresses since 1846. Every Stearns & Foster mattress is made by certified craftsmen using the finest materials and most intuitive designs. Experience the quality you expect and the luxury you deserve with Stearns & Foster.

Best Materials

Hands down, Stearns & Foster uses the best materials in the industry. Every mattress features furniture grade upholstery with high density foams in fewer, thicker layers than what other brands offer. They employ exotic fibers like silk and cashmere on their mattress covers; and resilient cotton, wool, and horsehair upholstery also come standard on some models. The 2.5″ Foam Encasement™ edge contains a border rod to provide the best edge support available. Additionally, every mattress has twice tempered, individually wrapped titanium alloy coils that deliver the perfect balance of comfort and support.

Advanced Innovation

While Stearns & Foster isn’t considered a “technology brand,” they do utilize the most advanced components in the industry. The new Indulge Quilt™ envelops the sleeper in increased surface plushness, allowing him or her to sink deeply into the upholstery; and a new fiber layer between the layers of foam allows each sleeper to move freely without friction and bunching.

Quality Craftsmanship

Every Stearns & Foster mattress is built by certified craftsmen, representing only the top 20% of their workforce. Each mattress is built in a dedicated luxury cell, meaning that no other models can be built there. Additionally, every piece of material that goes into a Stearns & Foster mattress is rigorously tested to ensure top notch, lasting quality.

As a dedicated luxury manufacturer, Stearns & Foster continually strives to expand and improve upon their materials and construction. For 2012, they’ve introduced richer textiles with deeper colors and more luxurious finishes. And with the Indulge Quilt™, they’ve improved surface plushness and eliminated the use of convoluted foams to provide exceptional, enveloping comfort. Look to US-Mattress for your next Stearns & Foster mattress, and enjoy free in-home delivery, setup, and removal of your old mattress.


Beautyrest TruEnergy: Living Life Fully Charged™

May 1, 2012

Spring is synonymous with newness. When you look outside your window, you see life breathed into the lungs of the landscape. A flower over by the tree in the back yard that comes back every year, like an old friend stopping in to say hello. The birds that gently lift you from the doldrums of winter. The sun that reaches its warm embrace onto your face like a familiar smile. Spring wakes us up and recharges us after arduous, arid months.

This spring, Simmons breathes life into the mattress landscape with the new Beautyrest TruEnergy line. It’s packed with the newest mattress technology to bring you an unprecedented sleep experience.

Beautyrest TruEnergy combines AirCool memory foam and Beautyrest pocketed coils with the AirCool design, offering the comfort and support your body needs to wake up ready to live life fully charged. AirCool memory foam minimizes heat retention, allows for freedom of movement, and gives superior pressure relief. The foam is layered on top of the genuine Beautyrest pocketed coils that give independent support and conform to your body, ensuring comfort and promoting proper sleep posture all night. The innovative AirCool design features a ventilated foam edge for enhanced airflow to dissipate heat during the night and provide comfort to the edge of the mattress. Additionally, a unique mesh fabric increases airflow and breathability for the most comfortable sleep.

If you’re shopping for a new mattress, and you want to experience the latest mattress technology, then consider a TruEnergy mattress. Recharge your human battery with the Beautyrest Recharge Sleep System, and get the sleep you need to live your life fully charged.


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