With Christmas quickly approaching, the Garner family was preparing for their annual trip to Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s for the family holiday celebration. The trip was something of a highlight when the kids were younger, but now that they were older with lives of their own, the trip had lost a lot of its luster.
“I don’t want to go. At all,” said Stephanie, the youngest (and loudest) member or the Garner family. “I hate it there. It’s not fun. It’s just a bunch of old people playing cards and talking about that one Christmas when Uncle Walter backed the station wagon into the garage and the reindeer came flying off of the roof. Well guess what? I’ve heard that story. It’s a lousy story, and I don’t care about fat old Uncle Walter’s driving record.”
“Stephanie, we all know how you feel about this. You’ve been yelling about it all week,” Hank Garner said, impatient with his daughter whom he found pretty annoying – probably more annoying than a father should find his own daughter.
“Dad, you don’t even like going. You always say that your favorite part about the trip to Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s is the ride back home. I don’t know why we still have to go to this,” Stephanie shouted from an adjacent room.
Nancy Garner shook her head as she scraped the remnants of that morning’s breakfast off of a skillet that had seen better years and happier Christmases. She liked these trips with the family, and even now that things had changed, she still saw it as an opportunity to enjoy her children, her husband, and the life they’ve made for themselves. She didn’t even mind the long, ear shattering ride with Stephanie, who had never quite mastered the art of the inside voice. Nancy was the kind of person who always had the Christmas spirit about her. It was her favorite holiday, her favorite time of year, and the source of her most cherished memories. Even in the hot, sundried months of summer, the whistling tune of “White Christmas” was never far from her lips.
“Oh Stephanie, calm down. You’ll have a nice time. Anyway, what makes you think we’re excited that you’re coming? Honey, we love you, but you’re just so loud,” Nancy said, as lovingly as possible.
“Whatever!” said Stephanie too loudly.
As the Garners rode along in their car (Stephanie and older brother Rob in the back seat and Hank and Nancy in the front), they were slowly becoming less despondent about the trip. At one point they even started singing Christmas carols. That is, until Stephanie chimed in and ruined it for everybody. See, she does that. The trip to Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s took about four hours, and when the Garners arrived, they were more than ready to kick back and enjoy the spoils of the season – Aunt Carol’s cookies, Cousin Sherwood’s gingerbread houses, and Uncle Dom’s train set (that nobody was allowed to touch). It was actually shaping out to be a nice day. This was the first Christmas in a long time that Stephanie and Rob got along with each other. Hank even played backgammon with Uncle Rufus who, as everyone knows, is ridiculously good at backgammon. Yep, things were really looking good for the Garner Christmas. Until the night came, and it was time for bed.
Just three months earlier, Nancy received a phone call from Aunt Carol that went something like this:
Aunt Carol: Nancy! Listen, I’m glad I caught you.
Nancy: Well I’m fine, Aunt Carol. Thanks for asking.
Aunt Carol: Yeah. Guess what?
Nancy: What? Look, Aunt Carol, I’m really busy. Is this imp-
Aunt Carol: We finally got new mattresses for the guest rooms!
Nancy: Well…great! Congratulations. That’s fantastic.
Aunt Carol: Yep! You see, Hank called us a few weeks ago and said that he wasn’t sure if your family would be coming for Christmas this year, what with your back and all.
Nancy: My back?
Aunt Carol: Yeah, your bad back. Hank said he felt just terrible telling us, but that you were in quite a bit of pain. Anyway, you don’t need to worry. We got NEW mattresses. In all of the guest rooms!
Nancy: Oh, Aunt Carol you shouldn’t have. You didn’t need to spend all that mo-
Aunt Carol: Nonsense! It just wouldn’t be Christmas without you. And anyway, I got a great price at the discount mattress outlet. You won’t believe the deal I got!
Nancy: That must have cost you hundreds!
Aunt Carol: We got a great deal! I’ve never heard of the brand, but the salesman said it was a great deal!
Nancy: Well, fantastic! Look, I’ve got to run. Thanks for the call, and we’ll see you at Christma-
Aunt Carol: Oh hey, while we’re on the subject of Christmas, do you think Stephanie would mind sleeping in the basement? It’s just that she’s so-
Nancy: That would be great.
So, anyway, the Garner family was looking forward to getting some much needed sleep on Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom’s new mattresses. But that didn’t happen, and the next morning, the scene was radically different from the previous day.
”My back hurts!” yelled Stephanie, first thing in the morning like anybody wanted to hear that. “Mom! I thought they got new mattresses! I tossed and turned all night! And it smelled, Mom! It smelled like wood chips and worcestershire sauce!”
”We slept pretty bad too. Hank, get up. Look, I didn’t have a back problem before, but now I think I do.” Nancy said, more than a little annoyed.
”My neck! Ow! Owwww! My neck!” said Rob, probably exaggerating a little bit because he always did that.
”That’s it! We’re leaving! I can’t handle another night like this!” said Hank, annoyed and uncomfortable, but also a little grateful for an excuse to leave.
And so, abruptly and without notice, the Garners left and went home to celebrate Christmas somewhere they could get a decent night of sleep. Aunt Carol and Uncle Dom were pretty offended and upset, but I guess that’s what you get when you buy a no name mattress from an untrusted discount store. If they would have shopped at US-Mattress.com, they would have gotten a great deal on a mattress made by a trusted and known manufacturer. They would have provided a comfortable and supportive place for their guests to sleep.
But hey, this doesn’t have to happen to you! Next time you’re shopping for guest mattresses, invest in an affordable mattress from a reputable manufacturer rather than settling on something just because it’s cheap. You (and more importantly, your guests) will be glad that you did!
And from all of us at US-Mattress.com, we wish you and your families a very happy and healthy holiday season!
The Snooze Guru